Dear Lord, I remembered that this show was pretty dark but I’d forgotten how it’s so dark that it makes Criminal Minds look like a comedy show.
And I counted. They put the lead character, FBI Agent Rebecca Locke, in mortal danger 7 times in 13 episodes (that’s 7 episodes in 13, not the individual traumas per episode: e.g. a helicopter crash, a fight with a killer, a fall down a hill, held at gunpoint by a little girl, whacked over the head by the perp – yes, that all happened to her in episode 1.10). That’s some serious character whomp! And when you take into account her past, it could eat Patrick Jane/Red John angst, for breakfast.
Like by episode 5 we’re already paralysed-in-a-bath-tub-of-blood-having-wrists-slit-by-crazy-killer kind of angst:
(cue awesome team rescue moment!)
Danny: ADAM BALDWIN LOVE; Mel: One of the awesomest wittiest female crime fighters ever (seriously, I dare you not to fall in love with her); Web: creepiest boss ever; Paul: totally has a knight-in-shining-armour complex when it comes to Rebecca; Rebecca: wow, I can’t even. Angstiest, most complex screwed-up character ever?
1.01 – Chilling start finding out that the victim was their colleague. Danny being all Casey-like. There are similarities there, right? Lol. Oh I forgot how much of this show was on “behavioural science” as well. This and CM could definitely be in the same universe! Oooh suicide, I remember being shocked at that conclusion when I first watched this. Who could do that to themselves?! Paul/Web showdown! [“Look after her” “Count on it.”]
1.02 – The fact she lies down and plays with the cars is a bit weird. Pretty sure her logic about the back yard is a bit weak? Ooooh this is the creepy girl with the fake tears isn’t it? Carter/Mel and the coffee! Lol. Such a psycho child! Mel/Rebecca talking. [“What if the little girl’s there?” “Shoot her.”] Haha! Mel is adorable!
1.03 – [“Did you just make a joke, sir?” “No.”] Haha. [“No Danny, it’s a support group for very clumsy people ..”] [“How do you spell silhouette? I’m just going to put shadow …”] That Paul/Rebecca scene was pretty intense. They really like torturing her don’t they? I think TPTB put her character through more trauma in 13 episodes than any other cop show. Web is so creepy! The way he makes Paul roleplay the bad guy. So twisted. [“Doesn’t look like any church I’ve been to.” “You’ve been to church?!”] [“You’re my first parishioners.” “EVER?”]
1.04 – [“All he was missing was a T-shirt that said ‘serial killer’ on it.”] Heh. [“Prefiler?” “You like? It’s mine.”] Danny and Mel are fricking hilarious! Creepy guy. He was in Lost, right? Definitely an interest idea for a case. [“I don’t even have a joke.”] Danny’s expression at the kid pointing a gun at him! Was it really necessary for Rebecca to be kidnapped again? Doesn’t this happen to her in like every episode? “You know you did the right thing, right? Right?”
1.05 – [“You know if we did ‘Boy-Girl’ it wouldn’t look as weird.”] Hahaahah! Rebecca looks absolutely terrified! Mel’s “we’re ordering in” look! Danny/Mel!!! [“Do you wanna talk about it?”] Man Rebecca’s a good actress. Oooh her telling the Becky George story. Danny and Mel finally learning the truth! Web basically telling Rebecca not to trust the others. Harsh. Mel/Rebecca …. Awkward silence. Mel rushing to Rebecca’s rescue! Danny shooting the crap out of the perp!! Awesome team moment at the end.
1.06 – Web is a sick sick twisted boss for continually pushing Rebecca to her limit. [“Sure you’re not the one who wants to know where her buttons are”] Yes, Danny, think you hit the nail on the head! Creepy arsonist guy! Mel: [“Less of an ex and more of a “y” as in “why god why?!””] LOL! [“She is disgustingly perfect.”] Mel!!!! [“If he wasn’t already out lead suspect, this would be exciting!”] Sadistic, yes. Danny/Mel [“I’m offended on your behalf.”] Oh look, Rebecca’s in trouble again …. Paul to Rebecca’s rescue!!! Ahh her abductor’s still alive. Like really real-alive? This could have been the major story arc of the show if FOX had given the show a chance. 😦 Overall, I think this episode is my least favourite of the series?
1.07 – Paul holding the heart? Eww. Nice to have a case that isn’t Rebecca-centric. [“Maybe Rebecca’s the killer.”] Oh Mel, you are so so awesome! Man that is a dark and twisty theory! Danny and Mel standing up to Web about Paul
1.08 – Usually this kind of thing happens to shake things up after a couple of seasons or something. They played this card early! Carter’s old-school laptop! Web/prostitute. Creepy! Oh God, no one needs to see that. Oh Web is so twisted! I can’t even fathom … why use Paul’s name with the prostitute? Web with the rubber gloves – CREEPY! Okay, I’ve changed my mind. This one is my least favourite episode. I don’t get how Web gets to come back after he used an innocent girl as bait.
1.09 – Oh sick, sick, sick! This show is so twisted! I will never not laugh at the way “herbal” is pronounced “erbal”. Rebecca randomly just decided to look down the sewer grate for the scissors?? This episode is warped. I miss good old-fashioned senseless killings. Rebecca looking out for Paul for once. [“Paul didn’t tell me how beautiful you were.” “Oh, er, thanks.”] [“Is she allowed to just make up terms?!”] Another Paul-centric case but I want to know about Mel and Danny! No show does creepy psycho killers like this show.
1.10 – Becky’s kidnapper is back! I don’t really remember this ep. Oh yeah, now I do. They survived a helicopter crash? Cos that’s realistic. [“There is no way she would’ve left Danny.”] True in this case but how can you be so sure Mel? I wouldn’t put it past Rebecca. Poor Rebecca! Another rough episode for her. Evil parents. [“Five more minutes in that house and I’d have become a serial killer.”] The whole team in the hospital. Awwh Mel/Rebecca kiss. [“Never apologise for what happens when you’re unconscious.” “In college I lived by those words.”] Oh yeah, the little girl is actually the figment of her imagination, a projection of herself!
1.11 – [“These late Friday nights have killed my social life.” “Why don’t I give you a ride then you can pretend we’re on a date.” “How pathetic am I that I think that’s a sweet idea.”] Danny/Mel “I wasn’t attracted to him!!”] LMAO that scene with Rachel and all the men watching the interrogation. The way she just looks at them. [“You two talk to Rebecca’s bartender.” “He’s not my bartender!!!”] The look on Rebecca’s face when Mel basically pimps her out. I love the Paul/Rebecca dynamic but I do wish we’d gotten more Rebecca/Mel too. Mel smiling at Rebecca’s phone call! Oooh great ep! Loved how it all played out. Hee both Web and Paul instantly saying “no” to the hostage trade.
1.12 – Corey the bartender’s back! [“She’s probably do that freaky thing where he starts talking like the victim and then solves the whole case.”] Hehe, true. Though at least she gets it wrong some of the time or fails to see the whole picture, unlike Patrick Jane. Rebecca hair-twirling! Mel’s [“What are you looking at?”] to the gargoyle! Awesome shot Danny! [“If you’re a good boy at the doctors, I’ll buy you an ice cream cone.“] Look how neatly that wallpaper came off. Lol. Ugh Web! Stop talking Rebecca out of having a life and a chance of happiness with Corey!!
1.13 – Mel, Danny, Paul’s interaction in the kitchen!!!! Mel’s impersonation of her dog being sick is the best thing ever!!! [“You can tell me about your weekends whilst we wait.” AWKWARD SILENCE.] Rebecca’s expression when she wakes up is literally “Oh God, not again.” Heh. [“Do you think she’s got normal stuff or like a ‘serial killers of the world’ doll collection?”] LOL! !dreamRebecca talking about kissing her co-workers. [“Oh my God, do you think she was robbed?!”] [“I’m still not shocked here.” “You will be. I might have oversold that one.”]. The team reading out Rebecca’s IM convos about them. Awkward! Paul/Rebecca so implied there! MOST HORRIFIC LOOKING SERIAL KILLER EVER. Love how Mel addressed the fact that Rebecca’s always the one to get taken. [“Paris Hilton would be more credible as a Fed than you chubby!”] [“I may be a bad house guest Ronald but you are a morbidly obese, cannibal serial killer …!”] Do you reckon by the time they did this episode, they realised they were going to get canned so they decided to just go crazy with it? LOL! It’s like a parody of the worst film ever! [“It’s been a couple of days so we wanted to make sure you weren’t like kidnapped or anything.”] The ending!
Team love! ❤
And then after finishing the marathon, I watched the latest Criminal Minds episode. I suppose having just watched Rachel Nichols on The Inside, I was in no state to give an unbiased opinion but there are similarities between Rebecca Locke and Ashley Seaver (beyond the fact they’re played by the same actress), right? Rachel replied to my tweet agreeing that they had a lot in common and then this other fan (who apparently had been having this epic tweet convo with Rachel) randomly tweeted me saying that when she was watching the whole episode all she could think about was how it was like a CM/The Inside crossover! The Inside fan inside of me isn’t delusional! Phew!