xXx (2002)

XXX Poster★★★

An extreme sports athlete, Xander Cage, is recruited by the government on a special mission.

Think James Bond and Ethan Hunt but with less hair and more tattoos and attitude and you’d get Xander Cage.  He even has a geek to supply him with some ridiculously handy gadgets.

So far no problem, after all, what else would you expect from an action film like this and they are all essentially ripoffs from each other.

Unfortunately three things let it down for me:

1. The clumsy way they shoved the X/Yelena relationship together.  I mean they say two things to each other and then there is this bizarre series of scenes where all of a sudden they are in a room kissing, she’s leading him to his room in a castle and then X is willing to risk everything to save her even when his boss tells him to go back to America.  I am definitely not adverse to some romance but the setup of this was appalling.

2. The heavy metal soundtrack.  No thanks.

3. The last one is no fault of its own: the stunts/CGI are obviously of its time and nowadays would look a lot more believable.

According to my scrapbook I saw this at the cinema back in the day but needless to say none of it seemed familiar as it’s pretty much an instantly forgettable film.

 

Yelena: I’ve been undercover here for two years.

Xander Cage: Two years? What was your plan? To let them die of old age?

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